Am I not good enough?

Why do I always feel like that I'm unwanted? Why do I always feel like that I'm alone? Why do I always feel like that I'm not good enough? Why do I always feel like that I'm just an option? Why do I always got rejected? Why am I feeling all of these when all I want is to be loved and be happy? WHY?

Am I not good enough? I always have this fear. The fear of not being good enough. I did my best to be good. I did my best not to disappoint all the people that counting on me but it's always not enough. I don't know where to stand. All I know is that, I'm just a just a disappointment to everybody. And the saddest thing is I always disappoint... MYSELF.

Maybe, I am not really good enough. Maybe I should strive more. Maybe my best is not really my best. It hurts. I am hurt. Why am I feeling these all of a sudden? I want someone to understand me. Someone I can talk to. Someone who will listen and never gets tired to all my rants. Someone who would tell me that, "No, you're not a failure Lovely. It's okay. Nobody is perfect. I'm always here for you, no matter what happens. I'll never leave you."

But nah! I need to accept the truth that the people I trust with all my heart, will leave me eventually. Just like others did. People come and go. So for now, I need to be strong... for myself. I don't want to cry anymore. I'm really tired. Tired of being alone. All I want is to be happy. Is that that hard?